3 AM

That is when it happens. When the noise stops, and the armor comes off, and the thing you said in the meeting last Tuesday, the way you cut someone off, the look on your kid’s face when you snapped. It all comes back quietly, in the dark, with no audience and no defense.

I know that hour. I lived in it for years.

I sent my book to a small group of readers last week. I asked them to be honest. One of them, a strong, direct, no-nonsense leader who pulls no punches, sent back a description I was not expecting.

I asked her one question: how would you describe the book in a sentence or two?

She skipped the leadership framework, the research, and the structure. She wrote: “If you wake up at 3 am replaying what you said to your team, your partner, your kid; if you are tired of being the tough one in every room, it is time. Time to lay down your weapons.”

I sat with that.

Lay down your weapons. Put them down long enough to see what is underneath all that force, and whether the people you are fighting for are still standing next to you or standing behind the nearest door.

That is what the book is about. That gap between the leader you are during the day and the person alone at 3 am, who already knows the cost.

A Letter to My Exes — How I Learned to Lead Without Being a Tyrant comes out in June.

If you are already awake, this is for you.

More soon.

Roberto

PS: What does your 3 am sound like?

#TyrantNoMore

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