Think about the decisions you make each day. Every single one reflects how you see yourself—whether you’re leading with full confidence or holding back to fit in.
Have you noticed those times when you hold back your ideas or tone down your vision just to keep things easy?
In high-stakes environments, it’s easy to slip into habits that keep us playing small, especially when surrounded by constant pressure and expectations. But what if those limits you’re setting are the very things that keep you from experiencing a sense of real fulfillment?
Often, we hold ourselves back without realizing that we're offering ourselves a version of success that's too small.
But here is what I’ve realized through the years. Something changes when we recognize that our greatest strength doesn’t come from outside validation or temporary accomplishments but from our unshakable confidence and sense of purpose. We begin to lead not out of need but from a place of trust in our own abilities.
You see, when you’re in that place of trust—when you recognize your own strength—you stop adjusting yourself to fit into boxes that weren’t built for you.
Working with clients, I often notice when they speak from limitations rather than strength. Words like:
I’m not sure when or how…
I can’t tell you yet how…
It’s not easy for me to…
Or self-deprecating like:
I’m difficult to work with.
I’m too set in my ways.
I’m not good enough.
The list goes on.
And what you do not realize each time you choose these labels is that your choice is your evaluation of yourself. All these words, of your own making, dim your inner light.
When you chase only temporary markers of success, you can lose sight of your real strength. Yet, your purpose is too valuable to be hidden, and you can only move past anything holding you back by embracing it.
This is a trap in which I lived many times. They were often unconscious and yet so powerful in derailing me. Little by little, it eroded my confidence and the way I showed up. I believed playing it small would bring me peace, but it only limited my satisfaction.
Here is an example of how it showed up for Sarah, a VP I worked with recently.
She often adjusted her ideas based on what she thought would be easiest for her team to accept. Of course, they appreciated her, and she enjoyed how seamlessly the team worked together. But overall, she felt her presence diminishing and her overall engagement affected.
Only when I helped her realize this down-spiraling pattern did she begin trusting her ideas and voicing them fully, and even if they felt bold, she noticed her team’s response: they started showing up with more commitment and respect.
If you’re wondering whether you’re shrinking yourself like Sarah did, here are a few signs to watch for in your own behavior:
Holding Back Ideas: Do you keep bold ideas to yourself, worried they might disrupt the team? What impact does that have on you?
Self-Censoring Language: Are you softening your words or apologizing unnecessarily, even when you know your insights are valuable?
Feeling Disconnected from Your Vision: Does your excitement about work feel diminished? This might be a sign you’re not fully showing up.
Every choice you make as a leader comes down to one of two things: Will you limit yourself, or will you stand fully in your own strength?
The times when we need this most are often when it feels most uncomfortable. But that’s also when it matters most. What you choose to pursue shows the value you place on yourself.
Here are a few practical steps to help you shift out of “Playing Small”:
Catch Your Words: The next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m not sure,” stop and ask yourself: Is this a genuine obstacle, or am I downplaying my abilities?
Reframe Your Thinking: Instead of “I’m too set in my ways,” try “I know what I bring, and I’m open to growth.”
Set a Bold Intention Each Week: Challenge yourself to bring one bold idea forward, even if it feels uncomfortable. What’s one bold idea you can bring forward this week?
You don’t need to chase what’s already within you. Instead, direct your energy toward shedding anything that limits you—it takes focus to stay true to your own strength in a world that often pushes us to downplay it.
As you start embracing your strengths and showing up fully, you might notice increased respect, stronger engagement, and positive recognition. When you confidently bring ideas to the table, you’ll often find that others respond, which can reignite your sense of purpose, making you more engaged and driven.
This week, take a moment to ask yourself: Where have I been playing it safe, and what’s one small step I can take to show up fully?
If you’re ready to take that step, just send me a note, “I’m in”—I’d love to hear what you’ll do.
Until next time 👋🏼
Love 💙 Roberto
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