Everyone Thinks You're an Arrogant Control Freak

That title would have stopped me in my tracks years ago. Because, deep within, I knew it was the truth.

And YOU clicked because you know it's true.

Not entirely. But enough.

Look, I'm not here to sugarcoat this. I've been where you are.

I was the guy who thought "direct communication" was just efficient leadership. I was the one who believed that if people couldn't handle my intensity, that was their problem.

I was wrong. And expensive. And exhausting to be around.

Here's what I've learned working with leaders just like us:

You think you're confident. They think you're arrogant.

You think you're decisive. They think you're controlling.

You think you're passionate. They think you're overwhelming.

And the cost? You keep carrying everything.

Again. Every decision, every problem, every crisis, back on your shoulders. The weight is crushing, but you can’t let go.

What if they mess it up?

The higher you climb, the wider the gap, the lonelier it gets. People nod in meetings, then whisper in hallways. You sense it.

They’re managing you, not being real with you.

Here's the thing we don't want to admit: we can't see our own shadow. We think we know how we come across, but then someone gives us feedback that baffles us. That's the blind spot. And everyone else sees it before we do.

So, I built these two assessments. Not to fix you; you're not broken. But to give you the data that no one else will. To show you, without the diplomatic filtering, how you actually land.

There are two ways in: One is about how you see yourself; the other is about how your leadership lands with others.

Assess Yourself → 18 questions to see where you land on the "brilliant but difficult" scale.

Evaluate Your Leader → Have others rate the impact you have on them.

This isn't theory. Three years of data. Patterns like micromanaging, intensity, one-way communication, emotional distance, and overconfidence.

Two ways to get the truth: through your eyes, or through theirs.

Because here's what happens: either you look now, on your terms, or you get blindsided when they finally tell you. Or worse, when they stop telling you anything at all and start avoiding you.

The cost isn't just your reputation. It's your influence. And it erodes the respect you've worked so hard to build.

And deep down, you already know that.

Roberto

P.S. The assessments are free, no name or email required. That’s just for you, as well as the decision to do something about it once you see your results.

P.P.S That whitepaper I mentioned last week? It shows exactly how 16 brilliant but difficult leaders made the shift from control to connection, and how they maintained their edge without exhaustion. Worth a read if you’re ready to see what’s possible. Get your copy.

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