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The Myth of the Invincible Leader

A pervasive myth among strong-willed leaders is that success demands going it alone. We see them:

  • Leading teams to victory

  • Closing high-stakes deals

  • Delivering under tight deadlines

  • Handling crises without breaking a sweat

  • Balancing work and home life seamlessly

They appear to manage everything effortlessly, right? Who wouldn't want such leaders on their team?

The truth? They're exhausted.

Caught between admiration for their results and criticism for their "too rigid,” "pushy," or “commanding” methods.

This disconnect is draining. “You want stuff done but complain about how I do it. – What do you want from me?”

The Root of the Problem

As a coach and from personal experience, I've understood how these characteristics can be innate. Some people are simply born with a strong drive to achieve and a natural intensity. This isn't bad; it's a powerful quality that can propel them to heights.

However, if left unchecked, it can morph into a need for complete control that hinders their own well-being and their team's success.

The irony is that the more these leaders try to control everything, the less control they actually have. They limit the potential of their team and create a stressful environment.

The answer isn't abandoning your edge; it's embracing a smarter approach.

Here's my perspective on the path to change:

1.  Self-Compassion as the Foundation: Owning your strong drive is the first step. But true leadership strength lies in self-compassion. Acknowledge your drive, but also treat yourself with kindness.

I often see a strong correlation between the relentless drive of high achievers and a deep-seated fear of failure. A fear that frequently stems from past experiences of harsh criticism or constant pressure to excel.

2. Sharing is Strength: You’re reluctant to ask for help, which is understandable. But I encourage you to start by sharing what you are experiencing with trusted people and how your intensity can have a double edge. It’s liberating!

3.  Empowerment, Not Delegation: Not ready to delegate tasks? You’re looking at it the wrong way. Don’t delegate, empower! You're good at it. It stimulates engagement and, ultimately, better results.

4. Embrace Imperfections: The constant pressure to excel can lead to micromanagement and hinder team development. Practice saying no to less important meetings, empowering others, accepting that not every day is perfect, and letting go of minor issues.

Incorporating these first few steps will strengthen your reputation and legacy without sacrificing control or results. 

In my coaching experience, I've seen firsthand how leaders can achieve incredible results through inspiration, not just intensity.

Ditch the Solo Act

Trying to do it all alone is unsustainable and unnecessary. Strong leaders I work with have learned to thrive by watching their teams excel. Some rely on mentors, while others work with trusted team members. The specifics vary, but the principle remains: true leaders don't go it alone.

So, drop the pressure to be invincible.

Recognize that part of being a powerful leader is knowing when and how to seek help.

I got you. I see you. 




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