Have you ever noticed how the words you choose reflect the limits you impose on yourself?
Something like:
I’m difficult to work with.
I’m too set in my ways.
I’ll probably get it wrong.
I’m not good enough.
What if they don’t like my idea?
I’m too extreme.
I don’t deserve to be here.
The list goes on. We do not realize that each time we choose these labels, we create boxes in which we lock ourselves.
And if this is you, consider how these words might be dimming your inner light.
You see, especially in high-stakes environments, it’s easy to slip into habits that keep us playing small. And what we don’t realize is that those limits you’re setting are the very things that keep you from experiencing a sense of real fulfillment.
However, something changes when we finally recognize that our greatest strength doesn’t come from outside confirmation but from our unshakable inner confidence and sense of purpose.
That is when we begin to lead not out of need but from a place of inner trust- from our own intrinsic abilities.
And, when you’re in that place of trust—when you recognize your own strength—you stop adjusting yourself to fit into boxes that weren’t built for you.
Your purpose is too valuable to be hidden, and your personal value is too indispensable to be repressed.
Like many of you, I’ve unknowingly created boxes for myself—boxes that eroded my confidence over time. I believed it would keep me in control and that playing it small would bring me peace. Instead, they boxed me in and stifled my growth.
Take Sarah, a VP I worked with recently. She often held back her creative ideas, adjusting them to fit what she thought her team would easily accept. While this made her team appreciate her and kept things running smoothly, over time, she felt her own presence diminishing.
When we identified this pattern, particularly in her language, she realized how much she was shrinking herself. By trusting her ideas and voicing them—even the bold ones—her team responded with more respect and commitment. She not only regained her engagement but also inspired her team to step up.
If you’re wondering whether you’re shrinking yourself as Sarah did, here are a few signs to watch for in your own behavior
Holding Back Ideas: Do you keep bold ideas to yourself, worried they’ll rock the boat? What’s the cost of staying silent?
Softening Your Words: Are you downplaying your insights or apologizing unnecessarily, even when your ideas are strong?
Losing Excitement: Has your passion for work faded? It could be a sign you’re not showing up fully.
Every choice comes down to two things: Will you limit yourself or stand fully in your own strength?
Here are a few practical steps to help you shift out of “Playing Small” and boxing yourself:
Catch Your Words: The next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m not sure,” stop and ask yourself: Is this a genuine obstacle, or am I downplaying my abilities?
Reframe Your Thinking: Instead of “I’m too set in my ways,” try “I know what I bring, and I’m open to growth.” Or instead of “I’m too extreme,” try “I have a ton of energy and can help my team.” – “I’m difficult to work with” becomes “I make sure that everything is done precisely and flawlessly.”
Set a Bold Intention Each Week: Challenge yourself to bring one bold idea forward, even if it feels uncomfortable. What’s one bold idea you can bring forward this week?
You don’t need to chase what’s already within you. Instead, direct your energy toward shedding anything that limits you—it takes focus to stay true to your own strength without boxing yourself in negative ways, especially in a world that often pushes us to downplay ourselves for fear of not being accepted.
This week, and as you start a new year, take a moment to ask yourself: Where have I been playing it safe, and in which ways have I boxed myself in? Then, think of one small step to show up fully.
What’s one limiting thought you’ll leave behind this week?
Share it—I’d love to hear.
Until next time 👋🏼
Love 💙 Roberto
P.S. Struggling to spot your own limiting thoughts? It’s not always easy. Ask someone you trust—or reach out to me for a chat.
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