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Beyond the Mirror: Real Change in Leadership Behavior

Have you ever considered the profound impact that deep self-reflection can have on leadership development?

Today, I'm sharing an extraordinary story of transformation and growth.

This journey took Luis, someone who is strong and decisive, to be more empathic and heart-centered in his leadership.

Have you ever wondered how transformative introspection can be in a leadership journey?

Today, I'm sharing an extraordinary story of transformation and growth

This journey took Luis (not his real name), someone who is strong and decisive and needed to be more empathic and heart-centered in his leadership.

But before I start, there is something I need to point out. From the beginning, it was clear that Luis possessed a remarkable trait: the willingness to look in the mirror and confront his dominant behavior.

This kind of introspection is no small feat.

It's a fundamental prerequisite for any coaching engagement. I often say I only accept clients who demonstrate this intrinsic motivation to work on themselves, and Luis exemplified this from day one.

At the end of our engagement, I asked him: “What are the key points that helped you be where you are today?” Here is what he answered:

  1. Stop being defensive

  2. Manage my impulsive behavior

  3. Acting like a victim

  4. Under stress, I tended to gaslight

So, what did Luis do for each of these?

Overcoming Defensiveness:

  • Luis recognized his defensive reactions during team meetings, often perceiving criticism as personal attacks.

  • By pausing to reflect before reacting and seeking clarification instead of defending, he nurtured open dialogue and trust within his team.

Managing Impulsiveness:

  • Luis often acted on hasty, uninformed decisions.

  • Embracing mindfulness, he began to assess potential outcomes before jumping in. His decision-making process became thorough, reducing risks and leading to improved results.

Ceasing the Victim Mentality:

  • He realized that playing the victim obstructed accountability.

  • By understanding his insecurities and distinguishing facts from assumptions, he began taking ownership of his feelings, and improving his personal and professional relationships.

Addressing Gaslighting Tendencies:

  • Luis learned how manipulating perceptions was detrimental to his relationships and personal integrity.

  • Through developing empathy and understanding the roots of his behavior, he started to acknowledge and rectify these tendencies in real-time interactions.

Luis is a brilliant and motivated leader. His journey is not just an individual success story—it's a testament to the transformative power of self-awareness and introspection.

Over a year, his dedication to growth brought immense value to his company. By changing himself, he fostered a more collaborative work environment, positively impacting team dynamics and overall productivity.

He said, “I’ve realized that by moving myself aside, I could empower others more.”

Why does Luis's story matter to you?

It emphasizes the importance of addressing behavioral challenges. It's not just about leading others but also about mastering the inner dynamics that influence our interactions.

I discuss this in my book; mastering oneself is pivotal for effective leadership.

So, as you read this, I challenge you: reflect on your behaviors, recognize growth areas, and embark on your transformative journey.

How can you lead others if you can’t manage your internal world?


You're an Alpha Leader - brilliant, driven, formidable. But what about the emotional landscape of leadership? It can sometimes strain relationships and team dynamics.

Here is where I come in.

Together, we'll shape you into an Empathic Alpha Leader, where strength meets understanding, and decisiveness pairs with empathy.

Start your journey to empathic leadership today.

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