I was listening to the Five Lessons To Live By Today, from Wayne Dyer, and realized how much they apply to what is happening currently.
I thought I'd put them into perspective and hope they will resonate with you just as well.
His first one is: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
I love his story about a man who lost his keys.
The power is out in his house, and it is complete darkness. He opens the front door and sees the lamppost lighting up the corner of his street. So, he assumes that it should be easier to go out and search for his keys around the lamppost.
Then his neighbor shows up and inquires about what he is searching for?
“My keys,” he says. And so, the neighbor decides to help.
After a short while, the neighbor asks, "Where exactly did you lose your keys?"
And the man answers: "In my living room."
“What?” His neighbor said. "That doesn't make any sense."
And the man answered: "Well, it doesn't make any sense for me to grope around looking for my keys in the dark inside the house when the light is out here."
Crazy, isn't it? But that is what we do when we start to look for solutions to our emotional problems outside of ourselves.
When we try to appease our fears by seeking relief externally, by chasing another project, going on a shopping spree, blaming others, or, I've got to say it, hoarding toilet paper and acting selfishly instead of empathizing with each other.
That's what we do when we seek comfort in yet another relationship or quit our job without closure. When we don't look at how we contributed to our downfall, at what is causing our poor behavior, or what makes us feel broken. This is what happens when we don't try to understand why we failed, and when we don't realize what makes us feel whole.
Or when we lean on others, like fragile pillars depending on surrounding columns to hold us up, and if one of these columns moves or changes position, then we hopelessly crumble to the ground.
To live a healthy emotional life and for you to feel whole, you need to take a good look inside yourself and stop depending on external points. When you do that, if things change around you, you will be able to respond in a balanced and controlled way, not fall into panic or despair.
Instead, you will be able to realize what is important to you and the world we live in, reframing your perspective to create positive change within and around yourself.
His second one: There are no justified resentments.
His point here is about how much resentment we carry inside from things that have affected our lives: the abusive boss, the wrong relationship, the person who did not say thank you, the one who still owes you money.
How much we allow these things to dwell in us is telling of how much resentment we hold.
Today, it might be resentment from what this pandemic has created. We could hold resentment because people got sick and died, resentment from watching the caregivers and service people exhausted. Resentment because we cannot spend time with our loved ones, for our lack of mobility and social interactions or lack of income. The list is long, and many of these are entirely justified.
However, as Wayne Dyer says, dwelling on resentment will only harm us and create a sense of despair.
What we choose to do with our situation is entirely ours. You cannot turn things back, but you can decide how you will move forward and what you'll carry along with you.
So please drop the unnecessary weight and see what's in front of you.
Third: What you think is what you become.
No virus in this world is more dangerous than your fear. We have put a lot in motion to avoid the infection. We are taking steps to prevent it. But what’s harder is knowing how to avoid the fear present in us and the world. I believe, in the long run, we are more likely to die from fear and panic than the virus.
Be careful about getting sucked into collective fear. There are always going to be reasons to be afraid of something. These things have come and gone time after time for centuries, and they will continue to show up.
But you can learn to be vigilant about what triggers you and scares you. Stop talking about the pandemic, watching the news, or contributing to social fear. We know that our thoughts can cause psychosomatic effects on our bodies, our minds, our emotions, and affect our system. Be more self-aware of what triggers you.
When you find yourself falling into darkness, do a count down from 5 to 1 and then STOP. Shut down that activity, engage in something more jovial. No more ruminating on the same negative thoughts.
Meditate, start with short mindful practices. It can have a protective effect on you by focusing on your inner well-being and shielding you from external hysterical energies.
"As you think, so shall you be." Wayne Dyer
Fourth: Be open to everything and attached to nothing
You can probably find a multitude of reasons to be offended by what is happening out there. Still, a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing is a mind that says: “I'm never looking for anything to be offended. Whatever anybody else out there has to say my response is going to be - that's an interesting point of view I've never considered that before." - WD
The world around us is changing. In some places, it is disintegrating to the point of no return. If you get attached to what is happening and are closed off to possibilities, you are going to have a rough time. You are going to be stuck in trying to recreate something that is gone, something that probably did not work in the first place and could even be the reason you are in this dilemma now.
To be able to move forward and create something new, you need to start by accepting what has happened, and without being offended, let it go to create a space, a void, where something new can enter.
An open mindset can let go of what is no longer available, without resentment, and focus on the possibilities ahead.
You'll only be able to see these possibilities if you shift away from what is no longer working. Then the light will appear and shine on opportunities you could not have imagined earlier.
The fifth one: Don't die with the music still in you
Wayne Dyer says it clearly: There are no accidents in this universe. We all show up here with a purpose. There is an intelligence that is a part of everything and everyone. We are all connected to it.
We all have something we want to accomplish, a project we have been thinking about for a long time, something we want to start, stop, explore, or offer to the world and ourselves. Something that maybe you are afraid to do and have been pushing aside for a long time.
We all have this music inside of us. And too often, we are scared to listen to that music and march to it.
This pandemic is creating a pause, a time for you to reflect and look at your music. If you keep waiting and you are not playing it, you will be robbing yourself and the world, from the opportunity to learn from it, to live it, to grow from it. What a shame, what a loss!
However hard, weird or difficult this may be; whatever people might think of you or your idea; if you get to the end of your life and you haven't put it into motion, you'll be dying with your music still in you.
So, play that music and let's dance to it.
A few books recommendations and someone with great content and articles Nick Wignall: https://nickwignall.com/articles/
How Emotions Are Made Great book about what emotions are, how they work, and how to work with them.
Don’t Shoot the Dog Amazing book on changing behavior—either your own or someone else’s.
F*ck Feelings Why values, not emotion, are the best guide to behavior and action.
Wherever You Go, There You Are A collection of brief essays on the true meaning of mindfulness and how to live it in your life.
So Good They Can’t Ignore You The best book—by far—about choosing a career and finding your passion in life.