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How Leaders' Emotional Control Shapes Teams and Builds Success

Ever been on the brink of frustration, holding back until you simply can't?

Unchecked irritation in leaders can wash away trust, fracture teams, and erode morale.

In leadership, controlling your emotions is often synonymous with maintaining team and company success.

There was a time when I was on a phone call with a colleague, feeling my irritation rise. He was saying things that irritated me, wasn't listening, and continuously interrupted.

It started as a flutter in my gut, gradually building up towards my chest.

I knew that if I didn't manage this escalation of anger before it reached my throat, my words would damage the relationship.

That day, I managed to catch my reaction and respond appropriately.

Then he paused, realizing through my voice that I wouldn't allow that behavior.

I took a deep breath and reengaged.

With time, I learned to observe these bodily cues and regulate my reactions accordingly.

Just as it was crucial for me, it's equally vital for all assertive leaders to recognize and address their underlying emotions.

Does anything similar happen to you?

If so, here are a few points I would recommend you pay attention to and the next tips you can apply:


  • Unacknowledged Emotions: Assertive Leaders often hold their feelings inside until they burst out, usually as anger. Are you keeping your feelings locked up for too long? You might be ignoring some issues that need to be addressed.

  • The Hidden Layer: Sometimes, what looks like anger is fear or disappointment, and these feelings can affect your decisions. For instance, you might become irritable or snap if you're scared about a project or disappointed in your team.

  • Early Detection: Recognizing emotions at the initial 'flurry-in-the-gut' stage can help manage them before they escalate and influence actions. Once aware of the patterns, you can catch them early.

Now, here are a few tips you can implement:

  1. Tie Emotions to Physical Sensations: Try understanding how your body reacts when upset. This can help you recognize your feelings earlier.

  2. Create your personal “Switch Key”: Once you sense #1, have a Switch Key to reset your response. A Switch Key is a strong positive statement that you can access easily. It is a strong behavior switch that can reset your answer immediately. It could be something like “I’m letting them speak,” – “I allow creativity,” – “I respond appropriately.”

  3. Feel Fully, React Appropriately: Now, create a pause and try to express your points constructively. It's not just what you say but also how you say it.

Once you practice these points a few times, they become embedded in your reactions, changing your responses on the spot. (They sure work for me)

Observing and understanding your emotions can improve decision-making and lead to healthier, more productive relationships with your teams.

By transforming potential weaknesses into strengths, you can enhance your leadership style and not burn bridges on the way.



You're an Alpha Leader - brilliant, driven, formidable. But what about the emotional landscape of leadership? It can sometimes strain relationships and team dynamics.

Here is where I come in.

Together, we'll shape you into an Empathic Alpha Leader, where strength meets understanding, and decisiveness pairs with empathy.

Start your journey to empathic leadership today.



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