The Man at The Bar

I didn't expect to feel this.

I'm writing from a balcony on a humid afternoon, abroad on an island in the south. And I'm realizing how much I seek connections.

Here's what's hitting me: the most beautiful moments in life feel deeper when they're shared. The sunsets, the sounds, even the stillness; it all lands fuller when your loved ones are there to take it in with you.

I'm feeling that here. I'm spending time alone, and I'm fine.

But I know I seek connections.

I've met many people in just a few weeks. They all bring those moments of joy through their curiosity, their questions.

And here's what I notice: I feel something different when I'm asked questions.

Funny, right? Because in my work, I'm the one who asks questions. I make others reflect, come to insights, see aspects of themselves they weren't aware of.

I tend to do that in my private life too, driven by curiosity more than anything else.

I love seeing the shift in their tone and the spark in their eyes when they realize something they hadn't seen before. The light that shows up when they feel seen.

But here's the thing, while I love discovering people, I also love it when someone is curious about me, when they ask me questions, and when they dig into my life, my deep, personal side.

It doesn't happen often. Usually, because people are so hungry to be seen, they just want to stay there. It doesn’t cross their mind to ask in return.

Not out of selfishness, just because it feels so good to be heard, to be known for a moment.

But when it happens, when they are curious about me, it stays with me.

It's happening here more than I expected, maybe because there are so many people in transition. Tourists visiting for a few days, backpackers pondering their next move, remote workers considering how long they want to stay.

Everyone carries a story.

Some come to escape something they wanted to leave behind. Others came seeking something they hoped to encounter. Some are just happy to be, taking things as they come.

So I'm pausing. For myself. And maybe you can pause too.

Then think: How “seen” do you feel by the people at work, in your life? How often do you create space to be curious about someone else? And how open are you to being seen that way yourself?

This newsletter will pause with me, just for a little while.

Before I return in a few weeks, I'd love to hear what's been useful for you, or what you'd like to read more about. Just reply and let me know.

Until then, maybe slow down just enough to ask someone a question they haven't been asked in a while. You might be surprised what you spark in them.

You might be surprised by the questions they ask you in return.

Until next time

Love 💙

Roberto

PS: A fantastic book I would recommend for you: How to Know a Person -- by David Brooks

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