Alpha Leaders - Are You a Cocky-Coward?

Have you ever felt out of place interacting with people, despite being an expert in your technical domain?
Maybe you've found yourself: • smiling nervously
• changing the subject
• avoiding eye contact
• having a rattle in your throat
• racing heartbeat
• shutting down
• feeling irritable
• procrastinating
• being passive-aggressive
• judging others
• judging yourself
• feeling defensive
• being aggressive
• thinking negatively
• being preoccupied
• or resorting to jokes and sarcasm to cope.
If so, you're not alone.
You have elements of the "cocky-coward" behavior, and so did I.
Let me share my story with you.
Years ago, as a software developer, I was ready to face a panel of higher-ups to discuss my plan for a new application. Little did I know this meeting would be a turning point in my life.
Confident and stylish in my blue-and-yellow-checkered Italian jacket, I presented my airtight technical plan. But when the barrage of questions came, my self-assurance crumbled. My fight-or-flight response kicked in, and I became defensive. I thought I was under attack.
In reality, everyone was kind and curious. The leaders just wanted to understand my plan.
That's when the truth hit me: I knew the tech stuff but was clueless about the people stuff.
I had to face my emotional intelligence gap.
That meeting was a wake-up call. Regardless of my technical prowess, my insolent, cocky self wouldn't help me in the corporate world or my career. I was hiding in plain sight, avoiding experiences that brought emotional tension and discomfort.
I was a master at strategizing, analyzing, eliminating, or including possibilities, but I couldn't control the deep, complicated, well inside me, the mental and emotional intricacies that make me human. I lacked emotional intelligence.
Over time, I faced my deep-seated issues and embraced personal transformation. I learned that I had to have the courage to face my triggers and grow from the discomfort.
My algorithms could only get me through the door, but my attitude determined how far I would advance.
How about you? If you've felt something similar, let me tell you, there is a better way.