You’re arrogant and probably won’t know your own arrogance.
Ever done something unknowingly that made someone feel small or overlooked? It happens more often than you might think.
I'm talking about "invisible arrogance," which could sneakily harm your work relationships.
What's this "Invisible Arrogance"?
It's those subtle behaviors that scream, "I'm superior, and I don't value you", even if you don't mean to. Factors influencing it could be:
Growing up in a male-dominated culture
Not understanding female assertiveness
Misreading non-verbal cues from different cultures
A habit of respecting authority a tad too much
Personal biases making you misinterpret or overlook things
Stress making you act dismissively
The thing is, these can make you seem arrogant even when you feel confident or assertive.
But How Does it Show?
Ever rolled your eyes when someone spoke?
Turned away from someone talking?
Crossed your arms or leaned back in a meeting, looking disinterested?
Avoided eye contact, used a sarcastic tone, or interrupted someone?
Made subtle remarks like "Well, if you think that's best..."?
Dominated conversations or used fancy language just because?
These small actions send powerful messages!
The Surprising Power of Silent Judgments
Let's dive into a simple yet powerful exercise. Imagine you're in a room, and without uttering a word, you're projecting one of two thoughts toward a person:
"You're smart, and I value you."
"I don't think you're capable."
Sounds silent and subtle, right? But guess what? In my workshops, participants could often tell which thought was being projected based solely on micro-expressions.
Yep, just those tiny shifts in the face. No words. No actions.
It goes to show that even before you say a single word, your biases, cultural norms, and assumptions are "speaking" for you.
The silent judgments and attitudes we carry can shape others' perceptions of us. And trust me; it's often more transparent than we think.
Taking Steps Towards Change
Here's the thing: understanding is just the beginning. What truly matters is what you do next.
One of the most powerful things you can do? Ask.
In Team Building, when I create a safe space and encourage authentic sharing, the ones often labeled "arrogant" are usually taken aback by the feedback they receive.
Here are some open-ended questions to kickstart the feedback process:
"How do you perceive my interactions with others during meetings?"
"Can you recall a time when my behavior might have come off as dismissive or superior?"
"What suggestions do you have for how I can communicate more effectively and respectfully?"
It requires courage to face perceptions, but asking for feedback shows your genuine desire to grow.
It's in your hands now. Do you want to let unspoken biases shape your journey, or are you ready to take the reins?
Need a hand? I'm here to guide you.
Start your journey to empathic leadership today.
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